All the information on this website applies to gay and bi trans guys. Trans guys need the chance to think about their behaviour and boundaries as much as anyone else.
Trans guys are part of all the scenes mentioned in this website. Trans guys use saunas, clubs, cruising grounds. Trans guys have online profiles and meet people for sex through websites and apps. Trans guys are part of the BDSM scene, use drugs and alcohol, go to house parties, do harder sex and have relationships of all kinds. Trans guys have relationships with other guys, trans and cis-gendered (the word ‘cis’ means anyone whose gender identity matches their bodies and what they were assumed to be at birth). All the sexual health and safety information in this website applies to trans guys too.
Some trans guys talk about the extra challenges they’ve faced to work out their identity and manage a transition process – whatever that’s meant for them individually – and how this impacts on their sex lives. Feeling empowered and good about yourself is a really important part of having sex that is empowering and positive but it’s not always easy, especially against the back-drop of transphobia, inequality and struggle that many people experience. These things can wear down your confidence to feel OK about yourself and negotiate the sex you want in the way you want it.
On the other hand, many trans guys feel the confidence and empowerment that comes with being able to be who you are and the positive effects this has on sex and relationships. For some guys, especially in the early days of taking T (testosterone), there is an increased sex drive, with all the opportunities and challenges this can present.
Some trans guys talk about the dilemmas of if, when and how to disclose information about their gender history, identity or body in a sexual situation with a cis-gendered guy, whether this is a one-off or at the start of a relationship. Some trans guys face abuse from existing partners – whether cis-gendered men or women – when they start to explore their gender identity or start a process of transitioning. This can sometimes be a trigger for sexual assault or domestic abuse. It can be difficult to speak up about your own boundaries, needs or preferences.
What’s certainly true is that trans guys need to know they are hot, exactly as they are, and feel great about it for sex to be really empowered and confident. Galop’s new campaign for and by trans guys is all about this. Keep an eye on Galop’s Facebook page for information www.facebook.com/galoplondon.
Trans guys are often highly reluctant to seek support around their concerns about their sexual behaviour or around the sexual assault they’ve experienced, whether recent or long ago. It’s hard to talk about what’s happened to your body at the best of times and, in any case, boys aren’t supposed to be emotional and cry, are they? Masculinity is precious and hard won for many trans guys and sometimes it seems that the trade off for masculinity is not opening up about the stuff that hurts.
Galop has considerable experience of working with trans guys around sexual assault and offers a welcoming, informed and respectful service that is totally confidential.