Boyfriends and partners
Do what you both want is as important in long term relationships as in one-off sexual encounters. It’s easy to get into habits, to stop talking and listening about boundaries. Do what you both want is also important when you first meet someone and on first dates. The main thing is never to make assumptions and to remember that the drugs and alcohol we often use to ease social situations can make it more difficult to make listen and judgements.
If you are worried about your behaviour in your relationship, there is an organisation called Respect which can help you talk it through and make changes.
Sexual assault can be used as a tool of power and control in relationships and can be a symptom of domestic abuse. If you think you might be experiencing domestic abuse, you can call Broken Rainbow’s national helpline, in confidence, on 0300 999 5428 for help and advice. Broken Rainbow also run a specific helpline session by and for trans people on Tuesday afternoons.
In London, Broken Rainbow can refer you to the LGBT Domestic Abuse Partnership for help and support around housing, counselling and many other things (or Broken Rainbow can refer you). The DAP is a group of five LGBT organisations that work together to provide specialist support, advice and casework for people experiencing domestic abuse.